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~flibertyjibert:iconflibertyjibert:

i said no cream on my sausages!  
  • 44 Deviations
  • 10 Scraps [browse]
  • 27 Deviation Comments
  • 16 Deviant Comments
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Watching The Rain

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Down and Out

Journal Entry: Thu Oct 26, 2006, 8:49 PM
  • Listening to: If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix
My latest scare with.......well it may sound over the top but DEATH is kind of hitting me now. Nearly 2 months after the blood clot was discovered.

It's not depression......i think im suddenly in shock. Being 19 and having doctors not know why your in such a bad way and having them tell you straight out that they give you a 50% chance.......CHANCE OF WHAT?! they left it so open but i got it. Unfortunately i was the only one they told as my mum had left the hospital for a while to call people and tell them.

I carried that on my back for ages. I didn't want to tell anyone the doctors had said that to me. I told my friend Ben who visited me every day i was in hospital. He gpt mad at me cos smiled so much in hospital. What else could i do?? Feeling sorry for myself aint guna make me better and it'd make it worse for my friends and family. Now i'm told i'm prone to them for the rest of my life.

I don't want to go to sleep or out for the day not knowing if i'm guna get pains in my chest from the clot and get rushed to hospital. I don't even know if it's still there!! I don't want to be me......at least not the me that has this problem.

Oh well.

1 Comment | Previous Journal Entries

Devious Information

  • MSN
    screecher_5@hotmail.com
  • Current Age: in dog years or human years?
  • Current Residence: Melbourne
  • Interests: interesting things
  • Favourite movie: i love the one that has that person in it!!
  • Favourite band or musician: fav female: Tori Amos and Bjork, fav male: Jason Mraz, fav band: Eskimo Joe
  • Favourite artist: Shag
  • Favourite game: hide and seek...............except im not very good at hiding
  • Favourite cartoon character: well it would have to be Daffy Duck

deviantART Notice

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Devious Comments

~osha:iconosha: Aug 24, 2006, 4:52:57 AM
thanks for the fave, babe :hug:
~dark-angelic:icondark-angelic: Aug 9, 2006, 8:58:01 PM
ur such a dum dum :p

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i'm a banana flavored m&m. bite me.

:heart: |dark-angelic|
~xweareallthesame:iconxweareallthesame: Jun 14, 2006, 5:17:34 AM
Thank you for the watch. :)

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And on the way home you held your camera like a bible. Just wishing so bad that it held some kind of truth.
=pamukcuceveyediprens:iconpamukcuceveyediprens: May 24, 2006, 3:35:33 PM
hey dude Welcome ...
Thank you very much for the :+fav:

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FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
~moonstruckdragonlass:iconmoonstruckdragonlass: May 17, 2006, 12:46:24 PM
thankyou ever so much for the watch! :D it means the world eo me, it really does. ^^ you wont mind if i watch you back? your stuff is pretty good. ^^

thanks again! :D :heart:

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:toocool::roll::X :evillaugh::yawnstretch: :) :lol::doh::shakefist::sarcasticclap::sleepy::meditation::boogie::sing::hmm::clap::ignore::O_o::disbelief: :ohmygod:

Thats not art, thats just annoying - Squidward
~dust-particle:icondust-particle: May 4, 2006, 6:36:00 AM
Yes. Let's get that guitar from Jay Jays =D
~osha:iconosha: Apr 27, 2006, 2:00:20 AM
yarrrr me harties! :pirate:
~Snuffalupagas:iconSnuffalupagas: Apr 26, 2006, 1:30:55 AM
Thank you for the fave hun :hug:, will let you know about friday later tonight sometime. Thats if you get on msn.

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You Need Emotions To Know Your Human..I Dont Want To Be Human
~dust-particle:icondust-particle: Apr 19, 2006, 2:48:42 AM
ben lee!! he lives!!
~Snuffalupagas:iconSnuffalupagas: Apr 18, 2006, 6:48:10 AM
HA! full stop.

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You Need Emotions To Know Your Human..I Dont Want To Be Human
~dark-angelic:icondark-angelic: Apr 18, 2006, 3:14:30 AM
iddddiot! :slap:

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i'm a banana flavored m&m. bite me.

:heart: |dark-angelic|
~flibertyjibert:iconflibertyjibert: Apr 17, 2006, 9:52:20 PM
:confused: im so lost on this whole thing!!! so many things to do so i don't seem like a really stupid newbie lol and then there's uplaoding some pics!

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"so what, i have a short attention span" :boogie:
~dark-angelic:icondark-angelic: Apr 12, 2006, 7:18:53 AM
welcome to dA benlee/boyfriend :lick:

--
i'm a banana flavored m&m. bite me.

:heart: |dark-angelic|
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